NO ROOM FOR FLYING PIRANHAS . . .

Here we go again . . . three hurricanes heading for Florida. I’ve decided that Mother Nature has a warped sense of humor. Since us mere mortals have figured out how to survive one hurricane at a time, she’s decided to throw them at us in multiples.

It’s not enough that the last few have given birth to hoards of mosquitoes the size of 747's with appetites like starving piranhas. It’s getting so you have to have a blood transfusion to get from the house to the car. Now, she’s gonna make sure that they have an opportunity to multiply even more with more rain and more standing water.

Since my backyard is concealed for the most part beneath large puddles of rain water, I’d thought about building an ark. If I do, you can bet that when I start gathering the animals two-by-two, there will be no room for two mosquitoes. They’re on their own.

Okay, I’m done complaining. I’ll just sit here and itch my bites and wait for the next storm forecast. In the meantime, all of you in the path of these storms, please stay safe. Don’t take chances. Keep those you love close and out of harm’s way. And please, don’t forget the animals. There are motels who allow animals, so don’t leave them behind because you’re afraid you won’t be able to get a motel room to ride out the storms.

Stay safe, secure and dry.
Blessings,
Elizabeth

DON’T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF!

I know I said this blog would not be addressing writing concerns, but something happened on another loop I’m on that made me decide to talk about this here. So this post is for all you aspiring writers out there.

One of the posters on the aforementioned loop asked how she could get 250 words/25 lines per manuscript page and seemed quite stressed that she couldn’t manage it. Replies poured in giving her all kinds of clever ways to adjust this and that and assuring her that "their method" would work. Whether any of them did or not, I don’t know.

The entire series of posts immediately brought to mind a Spotlight on Harlequin/Silhouette panel I attended at one of the RWA conferences. I can’t recall who was on the panel, but when one editor’s turn came to speak, she held up a sheet of paper, whipped out a ruler and began to dramatically measuring the margins. When she was done, she laid both down and looked at the audience and smiled. She said "I have neither the time nor the inclination to measure your margins. Don’t sweat the small stuff. Concentrate on what I need to see to buy your book–the story."

It seems that aspiring writers spend so much time worrying about the size or their margins, the number of lines per page, the type of font and size that they don’t give enough attention to the elements that will ultimately sell the book. To my knowledge, no book has ever been rejected because any of the things that I just listed were wrong.

That’s not to say that you can use an elegant, ornate script type face for the book or that you should single space the lines or print out your proposal/manuscript on colored paper. There are basic no-nos. So I’m going to list some of the do’s and don’ts of formatting a book and the reason for each, and I hope that it will relieve a lot of the tension. After all, trying to sell your first book is stressful enough without worrying about things that don’t matter all that much.

PAGE FORMATTING:
Margins – 1' to 1 1/4" is acceptable
Double-spaced – only in a synopsis is 1.5 line spacing acceptable
Both of the above measurements leaves room for editors to make notes
Headers -- the title of the book, your name and a page number must appear on EVERY page
Use your full name, especially if your last name is a common one such as Smith
Drop down approximately 1/3 of the page to start the chapter text
The text on all the other pages should begin at the top of the page
Each chapter should start on a new page

Paper, font and type size:
Use only 20 LB, white bond, 8 ½ x 11
12 point New Times Roman or Courier (Preferably Dark Courier) is acceptable or any type face with a foot (serif)
It’s proven that these type faces cause less eye strain than sans serif (footless type faces such as Arial or Helvetica). Since editors look at 100s of manuscripts a week, preventing eye strain is a huge benefit to them.

Word count:
Most publishers are no longer asking for an approximate word count. This is a word count derived from multiplying the number of words per line x the lines on the page x the number of pages. This counts a line with one word as aline with 13 or 15 words.

They are now asking for exact word count or machine word count, which is found on a drop-down menu in your word processing program. This way counts only the words in the document, no white space fill-ins IE: phantom words.

In Word, the word count can be found by clicking on "Recount" on the upper right of the tool bar.
In Word Perfect it can be found by clicking on the "Tools" drop down menu, then clicking on "Word Count/Info."

Please keep in mind that publishers and agents may have different requirements and that this is only the standard formatting.

Good luck!
Blessings,
Elizabeth

Incredible!!!!!!!!!!!

Hi everyone --

Last week my husband surprised me with a cruise to the Bahamas. I have to admit that I was not all that enthused about going. Not because I don't love cruises. I really do. But I was staring at line edits for my upcoming Silhouette Romantic Suspense, BURNING SECRETS, and at a manuscript that needed some heavy editing before I could write more. So, reluctantly, I packed the line edits in my suitcase, with all good intentions of being a good author and doing them while I was gone. (I should have known that would never happen.)

Anyway, we decide to do a couple of shore excursions. In Freeport, we chose the dolphin encounter. All I can say is it was THE most amazing experience of my life.

We all sat around a pool area about 1/4 the size of a basketball court with our feet dangling in the water. The trainer brought out two dolphins, Indie and Andre. We were warned that if we didn't show enough enthusiasm for their tricks they would get bored. So he encouraged us to react with great enthusiasm-- clapping and yelling, which we did. What the trainer didn't say was that the more enthusiastic we were, the more enthusiastic the dolphins' reactions would be.

My husband and I joined in with everyone yelling and clapping exuberantly. Evidently, we were over the top with our reaction. Both dolphins circled the pool, stopped in front of us, came out of the water, did a half gainer in mid air and came back down . . . with a resounding slap and very wet results for us. Much to the crowd's delight, a wave of water enveloped both of us.

Then, two-by-two, we all got into the pool and the dolphins came up between us so we could pet them and rub their bellies. In return, they kissed each of us to say thanks. When the trainer found out my husband and I had been married longer than anyone else there, he instructed the dolphins to deliver an anniversary kiss. That's the wonderful photo at the top of this blog.

I've been asked since we came home what the dolphins felt like. Are they slimy? The answer is: no, they are not slimy. They feel like wet rubber. I will say that, and I didn't expect this, I found their noses hard. Having them kiss me was like being hit in the cheek with a 2x4. But it was fantastic!!!!!!!!!!

Here's hoping all your encounters are as sweet as ours was with Andre and Indie. By the way, they're twins and their mother's name is Chloe. Their father's name is Stud Muffin because it seems he really, really likes the other girl dolphins.

Blessings,

Elizabeth

The Best Laid Plans . . .

Okay, before someone starts yelling at me again, I figured I'd better do a new blog post. I'm so bad about keeping this blog up to date (and I truly apologize for that), but my problem is trying to find something to write about that won't bore all of you into an unscheduled nap.

I'm sure you're all familiar with the saying that I started in the title of this blog post -- the best laid plans of mice and men do oft' times go astray. Well, in my circle of friends, we refer to those times as "Bertie moments." These are named for the heroine in my friend Dolores J Wilson's trilogy about Bertie Byrd, a tow truck driver who resides in a small Georgia town filled with people who intentionally or unintentionally turn her life to chaos on a daily basis.

It seems, since the advent of Dolores' books, my life has been filled with more than its share of "Bertie moments." Then again, perhaps they were there all the time, and I'm just more aware of them than before. Either way, I seem to be the center of chaotic events not of my making. For instance, in one day it took me almost 30 minutes to cash a check for $16.95 at my bank because a new teller could not get the concept that I was both Marge Smith and Elizabeth Sinclair. While she was trying to ascertain my true identity(after all $16.95 is a critically large amount), despite being told repeatedly that Elizabeth Sinclair is my pseudonym, an elderly lady drove in next to me at the drive-in teller. Upon hearing the sound of crunching metal, I turned to find she'd managed to wedge her car between the cement post, supposedly put there to keep people from doing this, and the machine that carries the deposits, etc to the teller two lanes over. It took four men about fifteen minutes to unstick her while she sat in her car and sobbed. My heart went out to her as she lived through her own "Bertie moment."

Following this adventure at the bank, and while waiting in a checkout line at the supermarket, a mother in front of me gave her 18 month old child a JAR of pickles to keep the little tyke happy while she loaded her groceries on the conveyor belt. Now, having raised three kids to adulthood, I knew immediately that this was NOT a good idea and one that could and did end in disaster. Yep. You saw it coming, too, right? Those little hands just couldn't hold onto that jar. It hit the floor with a resounding crash, and I was bathed in macerated pickles and brine. Needless to say, vinegar is not a scent I would have chosen to enhance my presence for the rest of the day.

"Bertie moments." Moments that are not perpetuated by you, but which have a way of gathering you into their arms and including you in the disastrous results.

But I digress.

So you don't think that I'm laying the blame at the feet of everyone else, I also have "Bertie moments" totally of my own making. One such moment happened recently while a friend and I made plans to attend a writers' conference on St Simons Island. Since she lives in the central part of the state, and I live closer to the coast, the plan was for her to drive to a mutual friend's house, leave her car and ride with me. The friend gave her explicit instructions on where to hide her car keys so that the friend's son could find them and move the car into the garage. It was an ingenius plan that left no room for error. Right? Wrong! You're forgetting the "Bertie moment."

I arrived shortly after she did, we hid the keys in the designated spot and moved her luggage into my car. As we drove down my friend's driveway, I spotted a young man working in the driveway with a leaf blower, and I assumed he was the friend's son (I hadn't seen him in a long time and wasn't sure what he looked like). As the old saying goes assuming makes an ass out of u and me, and I proceeded to prove it right.

I rolled down my window and yelled to the young man that we had hidden the keys on the electrical box as instructed so he could find them. He then informed me that he was NOT my friend's son. He was just there doing yard work. At which time there was nothing left for me to do but turn to my passenger and say "Well, if he wants to steal your car, he'll know where the keys are."

"Bertie moment."

Although while the "Bertie moments" are happening, you want to crawl into a hole and pull it in after you, in retrospect, they do bring a smile. And, after all, if I didn't have my brushes with these moments, Dolores wouldn't have much fodder (other than her own abundance of "Bertie moments") to fill her books.

COMMERCIAL BREAK: If you haven't already read them, and you're looking for a LOL read, check out Dolores' Bertie books at www.doloresjwilson.com How can you pass up books with titles like BARKING GOATS AND THE REDNECK MAFIA, BIG HAIR AND FLYING COWS and JAIL BERTIE AND THE PEANUT LADIES?

Have a great day, everyone, and may you have few "Bertie moments" coloring your life.
Blessings,
Elizabeth Sinclair

A pain in my neck . . .

Have you ever taken your car to a mechanic for a tire change and ended up getting a new fuel pump, new brake shoes and new windshield wipers and then got home before you realized you have the same tires you went in with? Well, that’s how I felt after a recent visit to my doctor’s.

I’ve been having trouble with my neck and assumed, since I do spend way too much time at my computer, that it might be a pinched nerve or maybe something to do with the fact that I have three disintegrating disks in my neck. Since seeing a neurologist is out of the question without a referral from a GP, I went to my GP.

He immediately scheduled a battery of tests on everything from my throat to my large colon, including an MRI and a dozen or so x-rays of my neck.

Now, I’m not an anatomy specialist, but I have trouble figuring out what my large colon has to do with a pain in my neck. But who am I to argue with a medical degree? Close to $3000 later, I returned to my GP’s office for the verdict.

He sat down on that ridiculously small stool that all doctors have in their examination rooms, poured over my test results and declared me physicality fit, which seemed to be a disappointment to him. As he got up to leave, I asked about my neck. After all, that’s what had prompted me to shell out $200 for the office call to begin with. I felt it only fair that I get some kind of feedback on my original complaint for my bucks.

He looked at me as if I’d just asked him to surrender his first born to my custody and said "Oh, that’s arthritis," and promptly left. Stunned, I stared at the closed door, realizing as I did so that I had not only gotten a new fuel pump, new brake shoes and new windshield wipers, but I’d also had my system flushed and my check book cleaned out.

My question is this . . . do mechanics and doctors go to the same school for fleecing their customers?

Belssings,
Elziabeth, who still has a pain in her neck

Spring Has Sprung....

I am so glad spring has finally arrived. It's been a lousy winter. I came home with a killer head cold in December after enjoying a wonderful birthday cruise to the Caribbean with my husband and some friends. No sooner had I gotten rid of the cold than I got an upper repsiratory infection. The topper was what followed -- back-to-back bouts with a very nasty flu. All this while I was trying to meet a March 1st deadline for a book. Needlessto say, that didn't happen. The book was three weeks late. My first missed deadline in 18 years. Thank goodness for an understanding editor.

Okay. I'm done whining. My windows are wide open, and there's a balmy Florida breeze filling my office. Nothing their to whine about.

Although spring isn't the dramatic happening in Florida that it is in my home state of New York where the crocuses peek through the snow to announce Spring, it's till my favorite season. I just love seeing the earth come alive with mist of green blossoms on the trees and the grass taking on that rich, dark green hue. I love riding down the road and watching the new born calves frolicking in a field.

Maybe it's my age, but seeing the renewal of nature adds a feeling of continuity to my life that nothing else can. Even though the world looks dried up and dead, as if it will never again sustain life, it comes back full blast.

We need to adopt the ways of nature. When life looks as though it's never going to get better, we need to look toward the time of renewal when we can laugh again and revel in the joy of just being alive.

Happy Spring, my friends.
Blessings,
Elizabeth

Into The Mist release delay

Dear Readers,

Happy Easter to all! Happy Spring to those who don't observe Easter! Now that the Mother Nature has stowed winter for another year, I hope you all are enjoying warmer temperatures. After suffering through two go-rounds with the flu bug, I'm more than ready for spring and summer.

In themeantime, I'm frantically trying to finish ANGEL UNAWARE for Medallion Press which was due March 1st. Needless to say, thanks to ill health and other unforeseen problems, it's late. The good news is that I'm closing in on the end.

PLEASE NOTE:

For those of you who have ordered INTO THE MIST or are waiting for it to be released, there is going to be a delay.

The printer who prints Medallion's book had a fire in the plant last week. As such, it has delayed the printing of the March books. INTO THE MIST has been rescheduled as an April release and will be available not later than April 15th.

Both Medallion Press and I are very sorry for this delay and any inconvenience this my cause you. Thank you for your patience and your continued support.

Happy reading!

Elizabeth